Surviving the Season: Calming Your Fight or Flight Response During the Holidays
The holidays can bring more than their fair share of stress, especially when it comes to navigating family dynamics and the weight of societal expectations. Women, in particular, often find themselves carrying an extra burden during this season. If you’re feeling like your nervous system is lit up like a Christmas tree (or Menorah), you’re in the right place. Here are practical tips to help you stay cool, calm, and collected, even while navigating the inevitable family drama (whether it's political debates or decades-old sibling rivalries); Elf on the Shelf pressure; the stress of trying to find the perfect gifts for everyone, from your picky mother-in-law to your child's teacher; or that festive FOMO that makes you feel like you have to attend every holiday party, school event, and social gathering in order to make this season magical.
Understanding the Fight or Flight Response: Why the Holidays Light Up Your Nervous System Like the Fourth of July
Think of your body like a finely tuned alarm system. It's designed to react when there's a potential threat, whether it's a bear in the woods or the complex world of a Thanksgiving dinner with all of your relatives.
The stress of the holidays (and the endless expectations heaped upon women during this timeframe) can trigger your body's "fight or flight" response. It's like your internal alarm system goes off, believing you're in a high-stakes situation.
When you're expected to juggle multiple roles, from gift-buyer extraordinaire to the perfect hostess to curator of all the holiday magic, it's no wonder your body responds as if you're in survival mode. Your heart might race, your muscles tense up, and your thoughts can become a whirlwind of worry. You might find that you’re more irritable - maybe even downright rage-y - and impatient. Sure, logically, we know we're not actually in mortal danger but our nervous system is still pretty primitive, and to it, a threat is a threat, whether it's a life-threatening situation or Aunt Carol’s relentless inquiries about your love life. Our job is to differentiate the "annoying/stressful holiday shit" from the "bear in the woods” and use the following proven strategies to give your nervous system a nice reassuring hug when it’s on high-alert so you can reclaim some peace this holiday season.
How to Calm Your Fight or Flight Response this Holiday Season
1. Breathing: The Calm in the Chaos
Breathing is your built-in stress-relief system, and best of all, you can use it anytime, anywhere. Here are two simple techniques:
1:2 Breathing: Inhale for a count of 4, and then exhale for a count of 8. Imagine you're gently slowing down your breath. Repeat this for a few rounds until you feel more relaxed.
Weighted Breaths: Lay down and place a book or an object with a little weight on your belly. On your inhale, focus on breathing into your belly so the book rises; on your exhale, breathe out so the book returns to its starting position.
2. Sensory Grounding: Finding Solid Ground
Grounding techniques work by redirecting your focus away from difficult thoughts and intense emotions, bringing you back to the present moment. This can help break the cycle of the fight or flight response that often gets triggered by stressful situations.
Breath Awareness: Sit or stand comfortably and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and pay attention to the sensation of each inhale and exhale. Feel the air entering your nostrils, filling your lungs, and then leaving your body.
Cold Exposure: If you’re in Michigan, just go ahead and step outside. If you’re not lucky enough to live in the frozen tundra that is the Midwest, you can get the nervous-system soothing benefits of cold exposure by taking a cold shower; splashing your face with cold water; running your hands under cold water for a few seconds; or holding an ice pack or bag of frozen veggies to the back of your neck for 15-30 seconds.
5-4-3-2-1 Exercise: Look around wherever you’re at an identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
Texture Exploration: Find an object with an interesting texture, like a soft blanket or your favorite four-legged friend. Close your eyes and touch it mindfully. Notice the texture and any sensations it evokes.
Humming: When you hum, you create a vibration in your throat and chest, which has a soothing effect on your body. Try humming your favorite tune or simply the sound "mmm" for a few minutes.
Herbal Teas: Chamomile, lavender, and lemon balm teas are known for their relaxation-inducing properties.
Aromatherapy: Inhale a calming scent like lavender, eucalyptus, or chamomile. Or maybe the scent of fresh coffee or your kiddo’s freshly-shampooed head is your happy place. Using your sense of smell intentionally can evoke feelings of calm and well-being and can elevate your mood and reduce stress.
Body Scan: Take a few minutes to scan your body from head to toe. Start at your forehead and move slowly down, checking in with each part of your body. If you notice any tension, close your eyes and take a breath, visualizing your breath as a warm, golden light that is gently melting away any particular tension you may feel.
3. Somatic Releases: Embrace Your Inner Yogi
These yoga-inspired moves can help release physical tension we may be carrying and provide a sense of calm. Here's how to do them:
Savasana: Lie down on your back with your arms at your sides, palms facing up, and legs slightly apart. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Relax each part of your body, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head. Stay in this pose for at least 5-10 minutes, or as long as you like. See a video demonstration.
Child's Pose: Kneel on the floor, touch your big toes together, and sit back on your heels. Extend your arms forward and rest your forehead on the floor. Breathe deeply and feel the stretch in your back. Hold this pose for about 30 seconds to 1 minute. See a video demonstration.
Sphinx Pose: Lie on your stomach with your legs extended and your elbows under your shoulders, forearms on the floor. Lift your upper body, keeping your hips and legs relaxed. Focus on your breath and feel the gentle stretch in your spine. Hold for 1-2 minutes. See a video demonstration.
As we deck the halls and prepare for celebrations, it's also crucial to address the elephant in the room – the mounting pressure and anxiety that often accompany it. This is particularly true for women, who frequently find themselves at the epicenter of holiday planning and expectations.
Recognizing what sets off our internal stress alarms — whether it's family issues, those unrealistic social expectations, or just the endless to-do list — is key to managing holiday stress. It's not about shutting down our natural reactions entirely; it's about learning to dial back their intensity. By soothing this instinctive alert system, we can face holiday challenges more calmly and clearly.
This is where our team at Hive Wellness Collective steps in. We help you understand the why’s and how’s of your stress response and guide you in managing it more effectively. Our goal is to turn the holiday season from something overwhelmingly stressful into something you can handle and— gasp! — even enjoy.
So, before you consider gifting yourself a one-way ticket to a deserted island until January, remember that Hive Wellness Collective is here. We can’t promise to make your in-laws more bearable, but we can offer you tools to manage the stress they might bring. Reach out today and give yourself the gift that keeps on giving this year: a well-regulated nervous system.